Relationships fascinate me. I’m naturally very curious about and aware of a person’s story; their journey, their struggles, the things that they’ve learned as a result of their collective experience, their joys and passions—the way that they interact with others and dive into and negotiate matters of the heart, love and connection.
The dynamic between two lovers is both personal and universal. There are so many unique twists and turns—yet, love, and the way in which we interact and develop bonds, seems to hold many commonalities across groups and cultures.
This dynamic is, as well, always shifting. Where maybe a simple declaration of “partnership” may have sufficed for two people to meet up and remain together in the past, the souls in our current time and space are wanting and needing more; they’re wanting and needing a real connection—a connection that is every bit as much based and focused on the spiritual as it is the physical. Paradigms are crumbling and shape-shifting. What works—what really works—is in the process of being turned upside down and re-written.
For those a tad late to the party, it’s a tricky game. Women are more fully stepping into and embracing powerful roles. They are less likely to settle for a man who doesn’t match their full vision of an ideal partner. Aware, evolved and balanced women are typically only really drawn to aware, evolved and balanced men—and, like any truly aware being, they can sense fraudulence with precision, which makes establishing a spiritually solid relationship an upstream swim for any man misrepresenting himself. Manifesting and developing a strong and sustaining relationship is much easier after egos are released and daily thoughts and actions are fully and authentically aligned with the words representing those daily thoughts and actions.
Dear lads; here are a handful of loving tips for brewing up a sustaining and mutually satisfying connection with a sharp and soulful woman. (And, ladies; with the exception of a couple, these are just as meaningful for us to keep in mind as we cultivate fulfilling relationships with the beautiful men in our lives.)
- Always, in all ways, adore, love and respect her.
- Listen well and learn to understand the difference between talking to and talking with her.
- Understanding the foundational differences between divine masculine and divine feminine energy will go a long way in transforming moments of frustration.
- Feel into the phrase ‘making love’ and away from less tasteful words and phrases—(unless you both are feeling into them.)
- Learn to control your climax. It takes most women a bit longer to reach a releasing point during sex. Developing and/or refining your ability to wait, when waiting is wanted/needed, will both soulfully and physically upgrade the experience—for you both.
- When she’s sharing with you, quietly take her in. She may not always express her thoughts and feelings with the desire, need or expectation of later wading through your suggestions and/or proposed solutions.
- Learn to kiss lightly; learn to kiss deeply. Know which to roll out and when.
- Emotional maturity and intelligence is far sexier than how you look. Period.
- Confidence; essential. Arrogance; not so much.
- Offer a grounded foundation on and to which she can safely and reliably seek refuge.
- Learn to let go of the day and be present and invested in your intimate moments with her.
- Spend as much time getting to know yourself as you spend getting to know her. Happiness and balance overflows to and affects all connections.
- Channel your sexual energy in a way that is mature and manly—not reckless and boyish.
- Allow both of you to explore interests without emanating a possessive energy.
Here’s the deal: we don’t really care about what you look like, how much money you make, where you live, what you drive or what kind of “spiritual” lingo you can pass along from the latest Eckhart Tolle book that you’ve read. We care about what and who you bring to the table during the quiet, silent moments. We care about how you speak to us through your daily decisions and actions more than through your words. We care about who you are and how you consistently show up.
Be yourself. Be Truthful. Communicate from your gut and heart space. Listen. Cultivate a foundational trust that is fulfilling and sustaining—and you’ll effortlessly draw in strong, beautiful, spiritually savvy women who are, in turn, very capable of giving to and building a high-vibe relationship that is sound and solid—for the long stretch.
Yes! (Yes, please.)
(Note: While the above is written with a feminine to masculine flow, of course it is valid in both directions. We are all in this together—and are deserving of being met with in a space of love, openness and truth.)
(elephant journal, july 2013)