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“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

—Eden Ahbez

I want to experience a life of limitless lovers.

I don’t mind if they have gray hair or no hair, if they’re young or old, if they live with 20 other people or alone. I don’t mind if they are men or women.

I want to experience you and to love you.

I want to know what it’s like to hold an embrace—long enough to feel unsure where one of us ends and the other begins.

I want to show up, to be present, to be still—and I want the fifth hour to be just as interesting as the first. I want the fifth hour to assure us that there are more hours ahead, and I want to feel excited and ready to greet them.

I want to walk away from our time together feeling full and sustained and whole and free and one with. I want this without feeling the need to share intimate, physical space. I want to reserve this variety of sacred space for only those we feel a certain alignment with. I want this love to be purely and wholly about soul-to-soul connection, and this combined divine & earthly experience.

I want to laugh. I want to be able to pick out your laugh in a roomful of laughter. I want to know the dynamic, yet harmonic dance of our laugh—together.

I want to change and to grow and I want to witness it through both of our eyes.

I want things and feelings that only make sense in our disconnection to fall away—to become silent.

I want to sincerely and authentically take in the ways that you place your feet and hold your ground. I want you to share in an unfiltered fashion. I want you to know that I see you as perfect and that I appreciate all of the ways that your path differs from mine. Unveil your doubts, your worries, your sadness, your happiness, your hopes, your visions, your dreams; I want to see you, to really see you—and I want to be seen by you.

I want to travel deep—submarine deep. And when we come back up, take days to sit, in a cozy space, with an endless supply of tea and awe, to sift through and process all that we discovered.

I want you to able to raise your voice, to be able to say things that momentarily stun me—then, I want to be able to quiet my mind, to step away, to see this as part of the process—ours…and to remain solid and present.

Whether it’s everyday, or just once; I want to sink into a moment—a surrendered, selfless moment—during which, even though I have never enjoyed coffee and you’ve never used a keyboard with more than two fingers at a time, I am certain that we are the same—that we are one.

In each soul, I see this love.

I see this lover.

I am this lover.

I want the world to heal in this boundless and timeless sense of unity and compassion.

 

(elephant journal, november 2013)