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Relationships fascinate me. I’m naturally very curious about and aware of a person’s story; their journey, their struggles, the things that they’ve learned as a result of their collective experience, their joys and passions—the way that they interact with others and dive into and negotiate matters of the heart, love and connection.

The dynamic between two lovers is both personal and universal. There are so many unique twists and turns—yet, love, and the way in which we interact and develop bonds, seems to hold many commonalities across groups and cultures.

This dynamic is, as well, always shifting. Where maybe a simple declaration of “partnership” may have sufficed for two people to meet up and remain together in the past, the souls in our current time and space are wanting and needing more; they’re wanting and needing a real connection—a connection that is every bit as much based and focused on the spiritual as it is the physical. Paradigms are crumbling and shape-shifting. What works—what really works—is in the process of being turned upside down and re-written.

For those a tad late to the party, it’s a tricky game. Many of us are more fully stepping into and embracing authentic roles. We are less likely to settle for a lover who doesn’t match our full vision of an ideal partner, which could make establishing a foundationally solid relationship an upstream swim for anyone who misrepresents him or herself. Manifesting and developing a strong and sustaining relationship is much easier after egos are released and daily thoughts and actions are fully and authentically aligned with the words representing those daily thoughts and actions.

The following are a handful of loving tips for brewing up a sustaining and mutually satisfying connection.

  1. Always, in all ways, strive to adore, love and respect each other.
  2. Listen well and learn to understand the difference between talking to and talking with.
  3. Understanding the foundational differences between divine masculine and divine feminine energy will go a long way in transforming moments of frustration.
  4. Take the time to discover, understand and fulfill your partner’s emotional needs—the things that convey caring, devotion and respect to them.
  5. Continue to create and support a deeper sense of shared meaning. Occasionally step away from routine household on-goings to focus on the ‘larger picture’ things that might have brought you together and support your growth.
  6. Emotional maturity, intelligence and a good sense of humor is sexy. Period.
  7. Confidence; essential. Arrogance; not so much.
  8. Offer a grounded foundation on and to which your partner can safely and reliably seek refuge.
  9. Learn to let go of the day and be present and invested in your intimate moments together.
  10. Spend as much time getting to know yourself as you spend getting to know your partner. Happiness and balance overflows to and affects all connections.
  11. Allow each other to explore interests without emanating a possessive energy.

When opening up to another being, in a sustaining way, nobody really cares about what you look like, how much money you make, where you live, what you drive or what kind of “spiritual” lingo you can pass along from the latest Eckhart Tolle book that you’ve read. What you bring to the table during the quiet, silent moments; how you speak through your daily decisions and actions; who you are and how you consistently show up—these are important elements of character and presence.

Be yourself. Be Truthful. Communicate from your gut and heart space. Listen. Cultivate a foundational trust that is fulfilling and sustaining—and you’ll effortlessly draw in strong, wholly beautiful partners who are, in turn, very capable of giving to and building a high-vibe relationship that is sound and solid—for the long stretch.

 

(elephant journal, july 2013)